- 1 Who is Ravi Dubey?
- 2 Motivational speech by Ravi Dubey
- 2.1 The two tools of my life
- 2.2 So let me first of all talk about
- 2.3 My journey exam failures & suicide to success
- 2.3.1 So,
- 2.3.2 So at that point in time,
- 2.3.3 Well,
- 2.3.4 Which means that you are also the center of the universe
- 2.3.5 There’s nobody watching you’re working hard.
- 2.3.6 When if you stop looking at us, we are nothing we are nobody
- 2.3.7 Second thing & Three thing
- 2.3.8 So everything was now surfacing from this space of delusion
- 2.3.9 There’s a difference
- 2.3.10 Mam, I don’t want to do this show!!
- 2.3.11 I got the show Jamai Raja
- 2.3.12 Future: A space of infinite possibilities
Who is Ravi Dubey?
Ravi Dubey is an Actor, Writer, Producer and as well as Achor. He began his television career since 2006. He is a very great personality now. He has acted in many television shows. He has also got so many awards for his talent. If you know more about him. Please visit Wikipedia page.
Motivational speech by Ravi Dubey
Hi! everybody that’s the most creative introduction of myself “khatro se khelane vala jamai raja”. So quite a lot has been said and I feel very happy and proud that he will introduce me the way you have introduced me. I need to take some tips on anchoring from you guys. I tend to over anchor a lot.
So well TEDx has been a very inspiring thing in my individual life also. I have seen so many of these TED talks and they’ve all been extremely inspiring. I’ve learned so much applied so much. I have become a better version of myself. Here I am with my own people who’ve been here have been far more accomplished than I am.
People who’ve been here and used this stage like Jograji, Mr. Shah Rukh Khan, like some like such an inspiring speech. You know even in terms of struggles and exposure people have heard so much but I have my own experiences and Here I am. And like Jograji said even a single one of you can get some inspiration out of it can change the degree of an area of your life. I’d be extremely happy and it would have been fruitful coming here.
So I’m not prepared with the speech. So if I go over and over with nonsense and incoherent stuff. Just stopped me ask me some random questions. And I’m going to you know do what I have to do which is shut up. So like I said not prepared. So here goes nothing.
I’ve been thinking the backstage that what do I speak about and when I was listening jograji talk he had a lot of emphasis on thank you in life on gratitude.
The two tools of my life
So I would like to speak about the two tools of my life. And the first tool clearly because I have already mentioned it is gratitude. The second tool. Okay, so before I speak about the second tool. Let me speak to you about the people who inspired me from the creative space from the industry have been.
I’m 33 years old. I’m a television actor. I come from Gurgaon. It’s popular for many reasons not all of them are good. But here I am and a lot of my conditioning has been because of this creative space the beautiful industry that I’m a part of it. I’m very very proud of it. There are many many good things about being an actor. You get a lot of attention. You get a lot of love. You get a lot of good wishes from people who don’t even know you. You know they send you so much prayer. They send you so much warmth. We are made because of that. We are made because of what you send us.
And other than that also there are many things that we get. You know there’s them fact checks. You know which I have not charged for coming here! There are opportunities of meeting various kinds of people who’ve achieved a lot. People who are striving to achieve a lot. There are people who have given up completely. But in all these people there are these various straights different kinds of conditioning that they share with you. And this somehow contribute to your personality to shaping you up.
So let me first of all talk about
the people who achieve a lot. Because these are the people we want to latch on to. We want to have their stories. We want to make it our own. You want to latch on to their frequencies be like them. You know! There are so many great people in our industry. So many of them. And you know whether it is a Raj Kapoor or Guru datt or Devanand or Shahrukh Khan or Ranbir Kapoor in the present times. You know they’ve all been there.
And then you even the people that you don’t meet even internationally speaking like Martin Scorsese or Christopher Nolan. So many great filmmakers, Daniel day-lewis so many great actors. You know so even the people that you don’t actively get to meet. You get to sample their work. You get to see them on screen. The films that they have made. The films that they have acted in.
And whenever you try to eavesdrop into their mind. Whenever you try to look at how they are thinking. You realize that there’s one thing that’s common amongst all of them. And that is madness. Its delusion. Delusion! So is it getting a little complicated? So that I simplify it a bit.
So when Shahrukh Khan looked at
the Mumbai city and said that one day I’m going to own the city that was delusion! I’m sure there was a second guy standing right next to him. The would have turned around and said pagal ho gaya hai tu, dimag kharab ho gaya hai tera, kesi baat kar raha hai tu at some point of time hum subkey life me aesa moment aata hai that kuch kehte hai and that thing is deluge enough for somebody else to turn around. And look at us and say, tera dimag kharab ho raha hai, kaisi baat kar raha hai tu.
Am I right? I am right. So, it must have happened in all our limited exposures to life. I’m not much older than you. At least I’d like to believe that. But at some point in time all of us. And all great people in this world. They had a vision that has exclusively been their own. It’s not shared with anybody.
Because not many people have believed in it. It could be from the theory of relativity to Darvin’s theory of evolution to anything in the middle. Such is life. So the second tool of my life is a delusion. Gratitude and delusion are the two things. I’m going to speak about it.
My journey exam failures & suicide to success
I came to the kingdom of dreams, the city of dreams you know Mumbai. In 2001 to become an electronics and telecommunication engineer. And I became an electronics and telecommunication engineer. I’m not very good at it. So but let me go back a little bit in time. And so when I should have taken commerce because I was good enough for that. I thought that I would also enjoy a lot of my friends. I went ahead.
And I was delusional enough to take up science. And then I was delusional enough to believe that I’ll be able to do well at it. And I actually did well in science. And then I was delusional enough to believe that I’d be able to compete with HSC students who had much better percentages than mine. And 12 and I’d be able to get a seat in their College in their City.
Since I was delusional enough. I got that too. (clapping) That’s where I disconnected from my delusion for some time. And I got into realism. And then realism limited me. Because at that point of time, it didn’t take me long enough to realize that this course is not for me. Because in the very first semester of four months into my engineering. I failed in four out of my five papers.
now you will not clap. Will you? So four out of my five papers. The Dominos effect continued. And in the subsequent semester also I failed in four out of my five papers. And I landed up back in the city where I came from which Gurgaon. And a little bit about my father as he comes from a village where there was no electricity until sometime back. And he studied there. I’m able to talk in English in front of all of you because he studied very very hard and he’s worked very hard. And he topped Uttar Pradesh at this time.
And then his son goes to another city altogether. You know takes the honor of his family with him and then fails their. Miserably! You know falls flat on the face. Obviously it found its way to me also. Because I was constantly seeing “are aap to dube ji ke ladake hai na jinone UP ho ke vapas aa gaye. Kyu padhai-likhai nahi hoti vahape. Ha sab aap bacche ak jese hote he! ” So I had to listen to all these comments and because I was vulnerable. Because I was young very very impressionable a little thing like this pushed me to the edge and I contemplated suicide.
So at that point in time,
I wish that I was delusional enough for my future self to come to me. And look me in the eye and say that Tere ko pata hai ki teri life kya honi vali hai, do you even know what’s going to happen to you. You are going to be a TV actor! Do you know that? you’re going to do so many good shows? There gonna be some awards down the line. You’re going to get married to the most beautiful woman in the world. Your life is going to transform completely. If I was not realistic in that moment I wouldn’t have committed the most shameful act of my life which was an attempt to end it.
this moment passed. Thankfully I was a failure at that too. So I came back home and as time passed. My then-girlfriend introduced me to the philosophy of life. That basically anchored me completely. All of us I believe need a spiritual anchor. For me it is Buddhism. For you, it could be something else. But whenever you have a spiritual anchor it gives you tremendous self-worth. And when it gives you tremendous self-worth you are able to look at not just yourself with a high amount of respect. You are able to look at everybody with that same amount of respect.
Now there’s a book called power freedom in grace and I read it. And in that, I read this code which somehow became the bedrock of my life. That from where I stand infinity extends in all directions which makes me the head of the universe. But from where you stand also infinity exists in all directions.
Which means that you are also the center of the universe
From a space where I wanted to end mine in my life. Because I didn’t think that I was good enough. I was here. I was thinking that I was the protagonist of my story. I was the hero. and I looked at myself as the hero. No matter how small the child is no matter how big. I would always take it in my stride. look at it in the eye and grab the bull by the horns.
There was this heroic nature in me which I came face-to-face with. And I was very very proud of it. That heroic nature kind of became addictive. And so much so that I didn’t even want to do parallel lead roles in my shows. I would only prove myself at the hero’s role.
There’s nobody watching you’re working hard.
So time passed and I’ll try to pace it up a little bit. Like I said I’m not prepared with a speech. So I am going to go all incoherent and I’m going to talk a lot of nonsense. So I’m sorry about that I hope I am not till this point of time though for the subsequent four years.
I was in the industry. I was doing a lot of shows. But somehow even no matter how hard. I was working on those shows. They never had any eyeballs. Sometimes they were not on a channel that was being viewed a lot. Sometimes we had been kidding, we would do shows. Hum kahete the jis din ham chutti pe chale gaye tab rating kam ho jati thi.
So but I don’t think I have worked hard and even jamai Raja to you know as compared to that. But nonetheless, from 2004 until 2010 I continued working. But until 2010 despite being a part of the industry that I am and into the internet being at its absolute apex. Whenever I used to talk type for a Ravi Dubey in Google, that Lalit Dubey’s husband used to turn up. So basically mother bit.
Obviously, it works. It troubles you a little bit that. You know there’s nobody watching you’re working hard. But there’s nobody looking at it. After all, we are in business off. Let me put it in black and white. Let me call a spade. We are in the business of vanity. We like being looked at. We love that and we thrive on that.
When if you stop looking at us, we are nothing we are nobody
You know when if you stop looking at us, we are nothing we are nobody. We perish! You know whether it is less ratings or less business of a Bollywood film. It’s one and the same.
It all you’re the nucleus of it all. And if you shut your eyes we are nothing. At that point of time, I was nothing, then I reflected back I told myself that somehow there is something great in these lower last four years that has actually happened.
And I kept telling myself even though I couldn’t see what that great thing. It was so I was delusional enough at that point of time to believe that there was something good in all these four years of me working hard not turning a lot of money. Not being on Google. Not being on the internet. Not being on Twitter or Facebook. But still, there is something great.
So when I look back I realized that all my faults as an actor till this point of time are not exposed. I am getting paid a very handsome amount to do what I’m doing. And that is basically just training myself and polishing myself as an actor. So that when people get to see me they don’t see me as a failure that I was. They see me as a success that I am today.
Second thing & Three thing
The second thing my self-worth with every scene would climb up, would climb up and continue climbing up till the time it filled myself with a sense of joy about being myself. The third thing and the most important thing it was during this time. if I wasn’t if I was happy with the way my career was going. if I was happy with the way my shows were shaping up.
I would not have done the show in which I found my wife. So I found Sargon and I did a parallel lead role because somewhere I was thought that this is the right thing to do, because there was nothing better than that in my hand at that time.
So everything was now surfacing from this space of delusion
When I have gone to Delhi, I met Sargun. Aesa kahate hai ki jab ladaki aap ke gar par aati hai tab vo apani bhi kismat sath lati hai. You know once. She came into my life. My life completely transformed and all these moments from my past. So after she has come into my life there has been a dramatic change in my life. All these moments from the time. I have been born until now have come together and formed this moment where I can confidently speak to you about being happy about who I am.
So everything was now surfacing from this space of delusion. Delusion even if there is no money in the account. I would not do the projects that I don’t believe. Even if the biggest of the producers are offering me stuff. They think is great for me and they really think that you know this is the. This is one day we are doing him a favor by you know offering him.
This you know I would not do it because somehow I would not believe in it. The television industry is hugely dominated by women. No offense men. Thank you to you guys because if you wouldn’t be watching. Today’s majority employment generated by a woman. Thank you for the women audience. But I was very clear that I wanted to do a show in which I was a hero I was the protagonist, not just the lead.
There’s a difference
There’s a difference in the television space. Most heroes are leads of the show, not the protagonist. I was clear of the content I wanted to attach myself with. They were close to 40 producers who spoke with me after Nach Baliye. You all have seen Nach Baliye me and my wife in it so after Nach Baliye. I did not do any fiction show. The friction show that I did before that was Sas Bina Sasural. All I hope some of you have seen that also. I was very proud of that show also. Because it was creatively a lot of lot in sync with that show.
So after Nach Baliye, there were so many producers that came to me and said that you know this is a great show. The money was great. The money was great it was huge as compared to what I had been charging to that point of time. But that was somehow not driving me. And clearly at that point of time that I don’t have a fat bank balance that you know I could just do anything. I wanted and said yeah I will do that and this. You know.
Mam, I don’t want to do this show!!
So I remember going to them. I remember there was a time when I went all the way from town. If you’re familiar with Mumbai from Colaba until Saki Naka to go to a producer and said that I’m really sorry but I cannot do a show. So she kept looking at me for a long time and said that are you certain that you don’t want to do it? You haven’t done a fiction show in a very long time. I was like yes ma’am, I’m certain that I don’t want to do it. But why is that we are offering you so much money and we know what you were charging before this and this is many times more.
But Mam, am I want to do a show in which I am the hero. So you mean that you want to do a show in which you are the lead then you know you are the protagonist. Yes, ma’am, I want to do that and she was like you know as much as I would like to see you doing that there’s a certain pattern with which the industry operates. You have to be delusional enough to believe that you can have a show in which you are the protagonist. And that was just about all that I needed to hear.
I got the show Jamai Raja
Cut to seven months later there was a show which was being made on one of the channels that I had worked with previously. And they called me absolutely out of nowhere for an audition. I happened to be free if I would have taken any of those projects. You know I would not have been able to go for the look test also. For that show but they called me. And I ended up doing a show which was absolutely a male protagonist show, not just that. It became a pioneer for many other male protagonists shows to come. I’m very proud that the show’s name is Jamai Raja.
In fact, the show has just been launched in Indonesia. And it’s being launched in Germany. it’s being launched in West Bengal. It has been remade by the name of Jamai Raja in with different characters. It’s being today in the morning we saw a trailer. It’s being launched on an Arabic channel dubbed in Arabic. And everywhere it seems to be getting the respect that we invested the kind of positivity and happiness.
We invested in the show. Their show not only saw the light of the day. In an industry where there is a strong point of view that only women-centric shows work. Not only did to see the light of the day. It also became the fourth-highest opener pan India during that time. It had a beautiful run for close to three years.
Keep gratitude in attitude: Ravi Dubey
Future: A space of infinite possibilities
So all right so clearly I have overshot my time. So I have I still have a lot to say. I don’t believe it. So I should come to come to these talks completely unprepared Because I have more to speak.
So I’m going to cut the professional journey short. And I’m going to come straight to the end at all times in our life. We are faced with this choice of limited realism or infinite delusion. Healthy delusion. Our destiny as we say it only determines our past because we can’t do anything about it. It determines our present to some extent because we can’t do much about it. But it cannot determine our future because the future is a space of infinite possibilities can happen right now. There’s a spaceship that can land right here in the center of this auditorium. We don’t know that because the next second has yet not happened. So the future is an imaginative space.
Your memory can take you into your past. Your five senses can make you perceive the present. But your imagination manufactures the future.
So before I go I want to give you all a little homework. Find the most delusional version of yourself the highest version of yourself that you can imagine. Look at yourself earning the maximum amount of money. Being the best sons. Being the best daughters. Being the best husband’s. Being the best wives and the best professionals you can imagine. A kick start your delusion. Thank you very much. [Applause]
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